The Gown with the Split Down the Back
I was just sitting here minding my business,
Just letting my brain go slack,
When in came a nurse with a smile on her face
And a gown with a split down the back.
"Take a shower" she said,"and get ready,
"and ease on into this sack."
But what she was really talking about was
That gown with the split down the back.
"We need to do some tests," she said.
Will they stretch me out on a rack
With nothing twixt me and the cold, cold world
But this gown with the split down the back?
In the front I'm barely decent.
On the sides there is also a lack.
But by far the greatest shortcoming is
That doggone split down the back.
The guy had some sense of humor
Who designed this little strip-please,
But I fail to see anything funny when
It's my fanny feeling the breeze.
I hear them coming to get me,
The wheels going clickety-clack.
I'll ride through the halls on a table
In a gown with a split down the back.
When I go to heaven, I won't really care
If my robe is white, red or black.
But I'm down on my knees prayin'
That there's no doggone split down the back.
I laughed like hell when I read this...but it wasn't much fun when I had to do it!